Starving Beyond Belief…

So, I’m sitting here in my house waiting for my wife to come home so we can go eat lunch together and my stomach is making all sorts of noises(doors opening, floors creaking, air escaping from a balloon, etc.) it’s crazy.  The sad thing is I always get my second choice of eats so, my guess is we’ll be eating Salmon Tacos ant Rubio’s.  And nothing against Rubio’s but, sometimes I want something more filling.  

I’m also going over my Fall Schedule and am looking to fill in a few dates so, any Promoters/Colleges/Universities interested can send an email to me through here or to

Last night, I disconnected the internet while my exchange student EZ was playing Legion of Legends…it was hilarious.  He kept saying he would get banned because he is AFK and since I didn’t know what that meant it made it even funnier.  He was sleeping when I walked in his room and after I said put some shoes on so we can go get something to eat he decided he needed to play his game.  And I don’t play that sh** at all.  He really started playing his game and said to me ‘Give me 20 minutes…’ I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know what else to do but to turn off the internet.  He looked at his computer thinking if he pushed the buttons faster somehow the connection would fix itself.  He’s still learning about me.  I’m about my word.

I’m excited for the Knicks game tonight…

I bought this Tom’s Peppermint toothpaste and about 10 minutes after I brush my teeth the minty fresh is gone.  I drank a glass of water and it washed the freshness away.  What’s up with these natural toothpastes not helping with the problem they’re supposed to be helping with?  Same with the deodorants…if rubbing crystals on my armpits worked things would be different but, it doesn’t work and I’m not sure about anyone who’s had success.  I think I’m going to package pretty rocks in a nice decorative boxes and sell that to people loosing their hair and tell them to soak the rocks in a pancake batter, let it sit over night then, rub gently on head until desired results appear.  Sounds like money in the bank.

So, I think I mentioned we bought these blinds for our bedroom and after paying $140 for them, we decided to get new windows and the new windows are bigger than the blinds we just paid for so we just spent money for no reason.

Also, bought a new trash bin for the kitchen with the sensor to open the lid on it’s own and it’s my new favorite thing.

I’m starting to work on my new project, The Family Album aka More Gibberish…Stay Tuned

Last week, at The Deciphering Gibberish Release Party, Poetri reminded me of a joke I made up years ago and I thought I’d share it with you.

This guy walks into to McDonalds and says ‘Let me get an Egg McMuffin and a White Sandwich.’  The cashier says ‘We don’t sell White Sandwiches.’  And the guy replies ‘That’s alright, I got my green bike outside.’ #DecipheringGibberish

I thought that was hilarious…that was a long time ago.

Talk soon and dont’ forget to pick up Deciphering Gibberish on iTunes and iBooks or at